The one with the dragon tattoo

Some days back, i was in a crowded train. Then a couple of people got off and a seat became available and no one was taking it. So i went ahead to sit and started glancing around to see if there was anyone who needed the seat. It’s always a good idea to do that, what with the number of smartphone vigilantes running amok these days.

Anyway, there wasn’t anybody who seemed like they wanted a seat or a video of me, and i noticed this girl standing in front of me, back facing me. At first i thought maybe there was some backpack or something. After awhile, i realized that it was tattoos on her back running down to her arms.

She has a full back tattoo that runs down to her arms and she’s wearing sleeveless to work! Such is the confidence that i can readily fall in love with.

So i started chatting with her, which is bullshit. You know i didn’t. Siao boh..

I think one of the requirements for the girl i wanna marry is that she must have atleast a tattoo. But then.. it’s only fair that if i have such requirements, said girl would also have such requirements.

Of which i am happy to report that some many years ago, i accidentally injured my finger, a tiny eensy weensy cut on the index finger. And somehow, accidentally (truth), i poked a permanent ink marker to my wound. The end result is that i have a tiny dot under the skin of my finger that has stayed with me for more than a decade and likely won’t go away.

So there.. my tattoo. A dot on my index finger. And to quote, it’s a picture of the entire earth viewed from a very distant star.

What is mind blogging?

I was sleeping awhile ago when i was suddenly awoken by a contraction. Then there was that swirly feeling of liquid and air deep in the bowels and i decided that sitting on a toilet bowl would do more good to my dignity than lying on the mattress. So off i went, and sat on my white throne of games. And sat. And sat. And sat.

It’s weird how the contractions tend not to come when you’re actually in the toilet. So basically, i squeezed out whatever i could, pardon the details, cleaned up, and went into the kitchen in search of a charcoal tablet. Returned to the mattress, but the brain was already on overdrive and began mind blogging. So here i am, seated on my other white throne of games. Blogging.

I’ve used the phrase mind blogging before, but i’ve assumed that everyone knew what i meant back then. Or maybe i did explain what mind blogging was, history is not my forte. So here it is, what is mind blogging.

Basically mind blogging is just thinking about things like anybody else, but the things i think about is wrapped in layers of grammar and appears in the mind as a narration. So if i were to think about eating cookies n cream ice cream, the image of cookies n cream ice cream would materialize in my mind. However, if i were to mind blog about eating cookies n cream ice cream, in my mind, i would here myself say “I want to eat cookies n cream ice cream.”.

Come to think of it, my normal thoughts seem to be more visual and my mind blogging thoughts tend to be more audible.

The audio comes with the punctuation. The punctuation doesn’t make any sound in my mind, but i can picture them clearly when i start mind blogging entire paragraphs, especially when there would be a spot for me to use my ” !!”.

Ok so much for now. Still pondering which white throne i should use to wait for the ever-recurring yet ever-elusive contraction.

I was down with a cough sometime in.. was it January or February? It was the month with the week before Chinese New Year. This much i remember because that’s about when my cough started and i was wearing a mask to make the peanut puff cookies. Making of peanut puff cookies usually occur on the week before Chinese New Year.

Anyway, the cough was so bad that i was having chest pains and the pains were so strong that it was interrupting my sleep. And it lasted for quite a long time. And then the cough stopped but the pain persisted. Only a week ago or two had it gone away completely. Prior to that, even breathing deeply causes a sort of nudging feeling in the chest. But now that it’s more or less gone, it’s time to abuse that body again and start a daily run schedule.

I don’t know what it was though. For all i know it could have been a strained diaphragm or a broken rib or cancer now in remission. Oh well..

I got myself the two scores for The Rains of Castamere, one for piano and one for tin whistle. I’m not sure how people learn music, but i figure that, for me, i can only possibly learn music that i’ve heard before. And considering that i’ve been doing sing alongs with the covers i find on youtube, The Rains of Castamere was a pretty good choice.

So it was, i was practicing on the keyboard and the whistle. The thing with playing the keyboard is that i’m using only the right hand. I don’t even know if the keyboard has enough keys for the left hand. And the keyboard seems harder as i need to figure out the transition of the fingers from key to key. Clumsy fingers don’t make the job easier. But the more i practice on the keyboard, the less i need to look at the score.

With the whistle, it’s a completely different story. There isn’t as much fancy work with the fingering, but i get kind of dizzy after blowing air through the thing after awhile. I’m not sure if my breathing technique is wrong, or my puffing air into the whistle technique is wrong, but i can’t do The Rains of Castamere three times without getting light headed. Also with the whistle, i tend to look at the score more often and find it harder to memorize the notes even if the fingering is easier.

Ok, so much for now, time to sleep.

March. Things i hope to see in this year, release of Winds of Winter of the Game of Thrones series. I would like to say “He’s such a slow writer !!”, but having been doing things rather slowly myself, i’ll have to concede with a “I understand. Things are sometimes slow. Boh pian.” instead.

There was a birthday dinner thingy a couple days ago, to katoh celebrate Cousin T. Dinner was at Sakae Teppanyaki or some name like that. Not the best place to have dinner for large groups of eight. We would have queued a long time for dinner were it not for a feisty aunt.

Anyway.. the set meal came with a complimentary mug of sake (sa~ke) or some other drinks. Since i never drank sake before and i was rather curious about it, i went with the sake. When was the last time i drank wine; let alone that a whole mug-size of it. It warmed me up plenty, and i was sweating a little through the meal. Or maybe it was the teppanyaki stove infront of me. But i think the alcohol kind of burned me, i’m left with a fearsome sore throat now.

I’m kind of like Joey of Friends when it comes to food. Your food is my food and my food is mine. Except that i take it up a notch in the scale of fairness and try not to eat others’ food since i don’t like mine to be eaten by others. Of course there are exceptions. If i ordered a set, and the set came with two mochi, i’m more than willing to share it by giving one away to someone who doesn’t have it.

There are other exceptions too. But if i’m not trying to share a plate of intimacy with a girl, then i don’t share food.

Anyway.. Cousin C seated beside me was trying to offer me some oyster omelette from her plate. I was like, no need. And she was like.. hmm.. the way she said it was kind of peculiar though. She asked if i was going to be coming back to such a restaurant in the near future. Meaning if i wasn’t going to eat this stuff often, i should taste everything as much as i could.

I was stumped. By two things. First, that she made a statement using a question. Two, that it did kind of make sense at that time (mostly because i’m a slow thinker). So i did try almost everything i could there.

Note to whomever: the ala carte versions serves up portion of food double that of the set meal. For example, if your set had 1 piece of salmon, 1 portion of clams, 1 slab of chicken, an ala carte order of salmon, clams and chicken would net you 2 pieces of salmon, 2 portions of clams, and 2 slabs of chicken. It’s like converting all those appetizer, miso soup and complimentary drink into these wonderful meat.

Anyway.. a short day later, Yvonne was hosting a dinner treat at TCC at Peranakan Place. Like some other guests, i missed the acronym TCC and thought i was going to have Peranakan food. Updates, updates. One who didn’t come was buying a 2.2m house. Omg.. 2.2m !! One was laser-ing her freckles for 1000s in treatment. One was thinking about buying a robot sweeper thingy that costs.. it doesn’t matter what it costs. The fact that the sweeper is a robot and not a broom or even magic clean..

Sometimes i wonder if my lack of extravagance is because i’m frugal or if i’m frugal because i’m really poor? Maybe i’m an extravagant disguised by circumstances. I do recall i did spend alot on Magic cards back when i was playing it..

A re-service friend tells me he doesn’t understand how i survive in this world of money. I don’t know.. maybe coz i don’t buy an iPhone at every release? Hell my phone doesn’t even have a camera..

Oh well..

Anyone want to buy me books? Begging here.

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The dream where i was monogamous

Had a weird dream again, thought i’ll blog about this one. The thing is, these days, i never had a dream that i could remember that i did not class as weird. Or maybe i’m mistaken and i’ve always classed dreams as weird. Maybe all dreams are weird whether i call them weird or not.

Anyway here it goes:

I was in this sort of hotel/hostel place where there are many rooms and many of people are assigned to a single room. I was alone in one of the rooms with Lydia. Not Yvonne’s Lydia, the Monash Lydia. Only it’s not Monash Lydia, but a taller version of Monash Lydia. So we were talking and she was like, since we like each other, we should make a promise of commitment to each other. [We’re not really close or that friendly at all in real life, but she was my housemate in one semester, but she doesn’t like me much and as a result i didn’t like her much either, but what can i say, there’s only that much i can control in lucid dreams]

So yeah, i guess i could try some commitment. Then in came the room mates and what we said about commitment was like a secret between us, we had to pretend that it didn’t exist when infront of others. Anyway, then came lunch time, 4th Aunt had organized a lunch of some sort somewhere. I was outside the room heading in a direction different to where lunch was. Cousin T [the one with the chinchilla] asked me why i wasn’t headed to lunch, and i replied that i needed to poo first.

So i went on, randomly found another room and entered to use the toilet. I took off my trousers ready to enter the toilet only to realize that Cousin C was also in the room. So i quickly jumped onto the bed and used the doona to cover my indecency. She asked what i was doing in the room and i said i needed to poo. Like a psychic, she said, “Ya, i know, but why do you have to come here to poo? Your room has a toilet too.”. And i was like, i didn’t want my room, where i sleep, to stink, so wanted to poo in someone else’s room [: D] Then Cousin C’s friend enter the room.

No idea who she was, only that she was pretty, slim, fair and leggy, and wearing nothing else but a bathrobe that was too short to cover her bottom adequately. I could see the er.. south.. whenever she bends or sits or crosses her legs. Which she does knowing that i was watching, she was trying to seduce me !! [*sigh* only in my dreams..] Then in came Cousin C’s brother, Cousin K, to whisk her away to lunch leaving me alone with the nymph in the room.

But i was like, since i’m now in a sort of commitment, i should not engage in lustful acts with another, even if willing, participant [i don’t know what i was thinking too] So as a form of protest, i threw off the blankets and stood to wear my trousers as a show of ‘i’m leaving now’.

Girl, “Where are you going?”
Me, “I’m going off to poo.”
Girl, “Are you coming back?”
Me, “No.”

The girl at this point seem kind of offended that i didn’t like her. Which she knows nothing, i really like her, but i was burdened by this commitment thing. In a huff, she left the room slamming the door.

Dream ends here.

Alas, it is the Chinese New year. Gong hei fatt choi everybody. Received a Chinese New Year text this year from a person, however, the text seemed to me more like an obligatory keep in contact kind of thing. Oh well.. Let it be said that lbandit has a very high standard for sincerity.

Strangely, two of the aunties decided to send greetings my way in the form of 马到成功. One in a verbal form as she was giving me an ang bow. The other, an Ez Link card with those very words on it. Which makes me wonder, do they know something about what i’m doing? Or attempting to do?

And on top of that, one of the cousins who has never quite bothered about me in recent times actually asked me what it was that i do everyday. The answer to that question, of course, would never answer the question and ultimately be unsatisfactory. I guess people who don’t know my personality well enough would ask me such a question.

Anyway, back to the aunties. Maybe mom said something to them. After all, she does look at my computer screen and at least once ask me something about the thing i was doing.

But then, what i’m doing doesn’t have to be mysterious or anything. So here it is, i’m playing around with Blender these days. You could say i’m working for myself now, four days a week, three hours each day, with compulsory three hour break.

Yes, that’s about it, a really a kind of casual thing.

Omg.. year of the horse.. I’m 36.. jobless.. single.. virgin.. Flying Spaghetti save lbandit.

Ah.. did i miss my December post? It’s weird, somehow i seem to have less time in December. In the week leading up to Christmas, i also forgot to post in my gaming blog. Oh well.. Speaking of gaming blog, that’s also kind of weird. I didn’t advertise it or anything, maybe WordPress does it internally for me, but i managed to get two followers. Maybe they’re just randomly following blogs to increase traffic to their blog, i don’t know.

Anyway, my computer’s motherboard died some weeks ago. A friend advised that i might be able to change the motherboard without the chip and reuse the old chip. Turns out that the old chip could not be slotted into any of the motherboards on sale, so i had to buy both the motherboard and the chip. I returned home to discover that the newer motherboard was smaller than the old motherboard. I thought it couldn’t be secured properly onto the casing.

I returned to the shop explaining that the new motherboard couldn’t fit into my old casing and wanted to buy a new casing. I’m pretty good at reading body language and reverse engineering. I bought the new casing, but before i reached home, i figured out that the new motherboard probably did fit into the old casing after all. And it did.

Then there was the problem with the operating system. The old computer was an Acer package that did not provide any disk for installation of OS. I had to buy a new Windows 7. Installing the new OS, i ran a program to check my hard disk. The program referred to my hard disk as “imminent electromagnetic failure”. And it did so the next day.

Godamit, it never rains.

New hard disk blah blah. All my old files gone. Photos, mp3s, work, etc. all gone. I was so sad.

And i started pondering about Theseus’s Ship Paradox. The one where the ship gets replaced part by part until the whole ship is replaced. Is it still Theseus’s Ship? Interestingly, we replace our brain cells daily and probably replaced enough cells for a whole new brain every fifteen years. Which really makes one wonder what exactly is identity.

Using a metaphor for my computer, let’s say i was in an accident and my body was failing. My biological brain was transplanted into a robot that not only looks exactly like me but works exactly like me, with all my limitations, odor and quirkiness. Most people would be able to identify the robot as still “me”.

Then later in my unfortunate life, i met with another accident that damaged my brain and only my brain. Fortunately, before the accident, i created a computer chip to map my entire brain. The chip has all my memories and behaves exactly as i would, capable of calculating and enacting every unpredictability i have while my biological brain was still alive. Like or not, this new chipped robot is still going to be “me”. It might help you to identify “me” if you reversed the order, replaced brain with chip before replacing body.

But my accident prone life doesn’t end there. Yet another accident and all my memory is erased. I get a whole new personality and everything. And still it’s “me”. But even i, am having a hard time reconciling what exactly “me” consists of at this point.

So here we are, my trusty old Acer computer, now running a new Asus motherboard with a new chip in a new casing with new storage and all data lost. Most IT people will say that it’s as good as a new computer. I’m IT, but i’m a philosopher too.

Anyway.. somewhere along the stream of consciousness above, i was supposed to embed the phrase “maybe we put too much stock into identity”, but i seem to have missed it somehow.