Dang dang dang dang

Ah.. wedding bells and more wedding bells. 5th Dec and another.. some weeks later, i don’t remember the date. Yvonne’s on 1st Oct next year, when’s Mr How’s?

Anyway, i think after Mr How’s, or Yvonne’s (if How’s is earlier), i should be in the all clear. No more wedding invites from anyone anymore.

Bliss.

Why bliss? Well.. i don’t really see the point of sitting and eating with people i don’t know. Not to mention that i would be taking a table photo with said such people. Oh well..

Ling’s wedding was fun. She was nice enough to seat me with very fond verily christian friend of mine. Sis YyY’s was great. It was like a big Gippy reunion, there’s yinyin coming in from HK, us going up from SG. There’s Tsk’s wedding (sec. school friends, eg. Benson and guys) and omy’s wedding, all basically a form of school reunion.

Anyway, anyway..

I’ve got this idea of inserting foreign currency (if i know the honeymoon destination that is) into the ang baos that i give. I’m not sure if i mentioned this before, but this idea originated from YyY’s wedding. Three other girls and i were sharing this hotel suite (no hanky panky) at the hotel where the wedding dinner was to be held.

Anyway, we were stuffing money into our own ang baos trying to decide how much to rm (ringgit) to give. Anyway, one of the girls, who works in China, asks if she could give rmb. And then i decided that i would just give some rm and top it up with sgd.

So we all decided to add in some foreign currency that would indicate our affliation. Yinyin would add hkd, Karen would add rmb, and me with sgd.

I don’t know about you, but it made me feel that my package was more personalized.

So much for now. See ya in a week.

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The one about The Time Traveler’s Wife

I’ve been reading The Time Traveler’s Wife and am halfway through. It’s a very good book and i think that everyone should read it even if they’ve watched the show, especially if they’ve watched the show.

Watching the show, it’s not immediately obvious why the time traveling Henry, who’ll break into houses, mug others for their clothes, would not steal cars to drive away.

Throughout the book, Novikov self-consistency principle is inherent. That is, free will aside, anyone who time travels to the past to do anything, is meant to do it. According to the principle, time paradoxes are an impossibility. For example, Henry cannot travel back in time to kill himself.

Anyway, the show, like the book, shows present Henry (age 30) traveling during his wedding. The groom is replaced by another Henry (age 38) from the future.

This bit is a little mind boggling, coz Clare would be married to Henry (age 38) and present Henry (age 30) would still be a bachelor.

But of course, our perspectives are tainted by our own ‘forward’ time traveling. When Henry (age 38) marries, we recognize that the wedding vows would hold from that point onwards, such that any future Henrys, relative to Henry (age 38), would be married. That is Henry (age 39), Henry (age 40) etc. would be married to Clare.

There’s no reason for a time traveler not to assert that the vows would ripple backward in time too. That is, when Henry (age 38) marries Clare, Henry (30) would also become married to Clare.

Then again, if we were to take this view, things can become problematic. Is the past self culpable for crimes committed by the future self?

Anyway, the book solves this issue once and for all by having Clare and Henry marry again in the City Hall two days later.

Here’s a quote from the book that i like. This bit happen on the morning of the day of the wedding (the one with disappearing Henry).

[Henry's perspective]

Someone knocks on my door. “Just a minute,” I call. I squoosh over to the door and crack it open. To my complete surprise, it’s Clare.
“What’s the password?” I say softly.
“Fuck me,” Clare. I swing the door wide.
Clare walks in, sits on the bed, and starts taking off her shoes.
“You’re not joking?”
“Come on, O almost-husband mine. I’ve got to be back by eleven.”
…
“Come and be bedded, almost-wife. It’s the only warm spot in the whole place.” We climb in.
“We do everything out of order, don’t we?”
“You have a problem with that?”
“No, I like it.”
“Good. You’ve come to the right man for all your extra-chronological needs.”

Mmm.. i like that. Having sex with my almost-wife on the day of wedding. Before the wedding, that is.

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The one about thoughts before bed

Ok, this is gonna be kind of short.

I used to go to bed every night, hoping very hard that i would wake up the next day; to live another day.

These days, i go to bed hoping that i would never wake up. That way, i would’ve died without dying. Dying in sleep, about the best way to die.

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The one where jobs are inherited

The following is a quote from Battlestar Galactica. Battlestar Galactica is about twelve colonies of humans whose colonies are destroyed by robots called Cylons. All that remains of human race flees in a fleet of spaceships escorted by a military spaceship called Galactica. The fly around in space, in search of the mythical thirteenth colony, Earth.

Chief Tyrol, “There are kids down there, madam president.“

President Roslin, “There’s children on every ship in the fleet.“

Chief Tyrol, “These children work in the refinery. They’re twelve.. fifteen years old.“

President Roslin, “There’ve been families aboard the refinery ever since its beginning. Others were picked up after the Cylons attacked the colonies. Over the past two years, the parents have been teaching the children how to operate the machinery. They’ve been passing along their skills. It’s perfectly normal. It is not ideal, i know that. But there’s nothing ideal about this fleet.“

Chief Tyrol, “Do you see what is happening? Jobs are starting to be inherited, madam president. We don’t know how long we’re going to be on these ships? What if it’s ten years? So i.. i.. i train my son to be a deckhand because that’s what i am? And that’s all he can ever be? Is that the future we wanted?“

Makes one wonder how generation ships are ever possible.

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A girl, no a photographer, no.. where’s she?

I have this stereotype of people with photography for hobby. I always assume that photographers lugging DSLRs are usually guys, and girls who swing that monster of a camera around are usually not that pretty. Coz pretty girls are usually on the other side of the camera.

Boy was i wrong.

Just a couple days ago, it was night at Bishan Olio Dome; we were sitting outside having dinner; i saw this girl carrying her DSLR and aiming it at her foot/footware and taking not just one shot but a couple. Caught my attention for quite abit.

Well.. she looked quite pretty from the distance. I mean.. long hair, white dress, fits nicely into my stereotype of pretty girls, lol.

A couple moments later, i looked up to ogle the girl. But she was gone, without a trace.

Hmm.. long hair girl in white dress vanishing, without saying ‘hi’, at night.. maybe i saw a hauntu..

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The one with red vans galore

La la la.

I was on my run just now and saw quite a couple police cars. Then as i was leaving Braddell road, i saw three or four red vans. Don’t remember three or four.

For the benefit of those not in the know, red vans are SOC vehicles. Hidden inside those vans are people from SOC. SOC is the SWAT equivalent for Singapore. SOC stands for Special Operative.. i have no idea. Maybe chicken or carbonara, since my mind had only food words.

Anyway, considering the recent cases of gang thingy, maybe something big is going (went) on. Four red vans wor.. I would have thought that it was usually two vans, one as command center and one for transporting the grunts.

Anyway.. i was thinking of making one very long post covering all the different stuff i have in my jotter book. But i’ve changed my mind. I’ll be scheduling one topic for each day.

Ciao.

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The one with when’s my party

There’ve been a a funeral going on downstairs for the past couple days. It was a quiet funeral and i knew about it only when mum told me. The guy who went on to a better place was the old man from just opposite our unit. Our neighbor.

Anyway, the van came and the moving out occurred this morning. I knew the moving out was occurring because i could hear the somewhat distinct prayer song.

Anyway, after the moving out thingy, mum began saying that she prefer hers to be like that. Quiet and without chanting and burning paper mansions and stuff.

What kind of rejoinder can one give to that? Nothing right? So i filed the statement away in my mind, ignored her and continued with my virtual farming on Facebook.

And then she mentioned me by name and asked me if i heard what she said. Oh well..

I remember that she said that she asked dad what he wanted for his funeral. Dad had said he didn’t want the ‘nam mo lou’. But then, later on, he said that it would be a little quiet without the ‘nam mo lou’.

Anyway anyway, i always tell people i want my funeral to be a party in a bar, with free flow of whiskey for everyone who wanted a drink. Like that show.. i think it was P.S. I Love You.

My funeral would be with fireworks if possible. No, not shooting the fireworks ourselves (siao, so costly, plus it’s illegal), but i’m sure the funeral could be staged to occur on National Day or New Year, when there would be fireworks. Fireworks.. that’s from Chocolat, the book.

There’ll be no grieving. Only a celebration, to celebrate my passing. There could be belly dancers. There’s as yet no precedent for having belly dancers at a funeral. So i think that idea is pretty original. Copyright by LB.

The thing is, i think nobody is going to give a damn what i want for my funeral. And it’s not like i’m going to be in any capacity to do anything at that point of time. Then again, it also means that i’m not going to be in any capacity to be bothered that my party didn’t happen.

I guess the only way that i’m going to have a funeral party is to marry a girl who has exactly these thoughts and wishes. Of course, she would also have to die before me, or i would miss the party.

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The one with thumb tum tongue

I tried to show the nephew the thumbs up sign and tried to get him to do it with his little hands. So i said, “Show your thumb”. But i have bad pronunciation and it came out as, “Show your tum”.

Then the nephew stuck out his tongue and waved it side to side coupled with the tongue lolling sounds. That’s an action that he does when i ask him, “Where’s your tongue?”.

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LB is not passionate

A while ago, a friend said that since i was a *cough*virgin*cough*, i couldn’t possibly know for sure that i would enjoy the process known as “having sex”. Self-administered gratification, he argued, was not exactly the same as “having sex”. As such, it could still turn out that i didn’t really like “”having sex” even if i find the results of self-administered gratification quite satisfactory.

I was kind of thinking about that during my run just now (I don’t exercise alot, i just tend to blog when i do exercise that’s all). I was thinking, maybe what my friend said was correct, considering that most of the parts of the body which are sensuous zones for others are actually ticklish zones for me.

Yep, if someone tries to seduce me with a sensual massage, i would burst out laughing.

Which makes me think about kissing.

Kissing is such a romantic thing for couples to do. That anticipation and racing heart beat when you lean in for your kiss, especially with a first kiss. Would she reciprocate? Would she turn away? She stiffens a little at your approach, but eventually relaxes and reciprocates, the slight tilt of the head, the soft moist lips on yours. She’ll taste like ambrosia, sweetness of the heavens and smell of a fleeting scent of fragrant spice mixed with innumerable other hypnotic flavors. Saintly music would be playing in the background and you’ll feel an elevation as your souls soar to the ends of the universe and beyond, the moment would last forever.

And if you’re kissing a guy instead of a girl, just replace or the ‘she’s with ‘he’s in the previous paragraph. Though i don’t know if anyone wants their guys to taste like honey and smell like spice.

And you know what? That’s just bullshit.

What’s going to really happen is that your spectacles are going to clink into each other’s, and if she doesn’t wear glasses, her moisturizer is going to smudge your glasses and you’re going to have to clean it later if you’re to see anything. Or you could rip your glasses off and fling it away like they do in the movies. Seriously? I’m sure anybody with a need for correction glasses would ever do something silly like that.

Taste like honey and smells like spice? More often than not, she’ll probably taste like garlic and onions, exactly what you used to cook her sumptuous candlelight dinner. If your partner is a guy, he’ll probably smell of sweat and guy odor. And if your partner is a girl, the perfume is probably going to be so overpowering that you can hardly call the smell human (pardon me if my belief that guys smell bad and girls smell nice offends you).

My experience with kissing is pretty much passionless. Where are those feelings of ecstasy, passion and desire when i kissed? I don’t know. Maybe i’m a bad kisser or something.

Though i suspect i must be a zombie masquerading as a human being. Which would explain why kissing is such a futile exercise for me.

Hmm.. food..

Which brings me back to the original topic. Maybe i would find ‘having sex’ to be passionless too.

Oh well.. life sux anyway..

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