I’m not crapping or saying figuratively or meaning crazy as wild here. It’s true, my mum really thinks that i’m crazy. The other day, the baby nephew bumped his head again, and mum, brother and i were gathered round the baby to talk.
Mum went like, “LB last time also always fall and bang the head one. No wonder you’re sor sor dei”. That’s Cantonese, which mean i’m a little crazy/mad/insane/psychotic/mentally-ill/lunatic.
Then another night (way after midnight), brother was asleep, mum and i were tending to the baby who refused to sleep, i said that i heard some soft radio sounds coming from outside, probably the construction site. Mum, who is deafer than i am, said she couldn’t hear anything and asked if i was hallucinating -_-
It did occur to me that if i was hallucinating, there would be no way i could know whether i’m hallucinating. After all, hallucinations appear real to the person’s senses. So mum’s question, “Are you hallucinating.” is a little unanswerable. How would i know?
I sometimes act like i’m crazy and sometimes, my don’t-talk-unnecessarily mode coupled with my lack of conformance to commonly perceived social out-of-bounds, i do things that seem crazy. Actually, the seemingly crazy things that i do (when i’m not acting crazy) do have logical but slightly convoluted reasoning. But surely i’m not crazy.
I’m not, am i?
Higher powers help me.. What if i really do have hallucinations? How do i find out? What if i have hallucinations that i can interact with? Maybe one or two of my cousins are hallucinations.